Limericks from prompts 15

© Can Stock Photo& damedeeso. Used with permission

Limerick, a popular form of short, humorous verse that is often nonsensical and frequently ribald. It consists of five lines, rhyming aabba, and the dominant metre is anapestic, with two metrical feet in the third and fourth lines and three feet in the others. Encyclopaedia Britannica

A series of limericks produced in response to various prompts. 

Where any prompt contains exactly five letters, I may attempt an acrostic limerick based on that word (or a pair in the case of ten-letter prompts).

Let me know what you think.

 

SQUEEZE

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/10/09/squeeze/)

A comely young wench called Louise
Said, “Look at the shape of my knees.
They used to be knobbly
But now they’re just wobbly.
Come on, love, and give them a squeeze.”

HOLIDAY

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/10/10/holiday/)

On holiday, we travel east;
We fly for eight hours, at least.
At home for two years
In line with our peers,
Our carbon footprint has decreased.

LUDICROUS

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/10/11/ludicrous-2/)

It’s ludicrous you should still think
That writing must always use ink
Haven’t you seen
The books now on screen?
So, wise up, and just swim… or sync!

BLOODCURDLING

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/10/12/bloodcurdling-2/)

Whenever I hear talk of sports,
The thought makes me feel out of sorts.
The mention of hurdling
Is really bloodcurdling.
I don’t even own any shorts!

MATCHING

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/10/13/matching/)

Whilst my mate his cottage was thatching,
He witnessed some falcon eggs hatching.
“Cor, blimey,” he said,
“They’ve the same colour head;
And even their hairstyles are matching!”

DINNER

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/10/14/dinner/)

My Dad said I could be a winner
If only I’d make myself thinner.
I thought for a while,
Then said with a smile,
“Forget that – what’s Mum made for dinner?”

International Limericks 14

© Can Stock Photo & damedeeso used with permission

As an exercise in mental masochism, I shall attempt to produce, in strict alphabetic sequence, a limerick based on the name of each of the one hundred and ninety-three member-states of the United Nations* (using the short name as commonly used in UK English, abbreviated where it is common practice or makes it easier). Each Wednesday will see a handful of such limericks, until I have addressed them all.

* according to the official list available on-line on 5th July, 2021. The addition or removal of countries or changes of name during the course of this exercise will not be reflected.

Comments or implied comments about countries, including of a geographical nature, are often the result of my struggle to find a set of words that will satisfy the rhythmic and metric requirements of the format. As such, they don’t necessarily reflect my experiences or opinions, or indeed any form of reality.

Let me know what you think.

 

GUATEMALA

I got on a train in Kampala
And slept after drinking masala.
Right down to this day,
I really can’t say
How I ended up in Guatemala.

GUINEA

West Africa’s Guinea’s a land,
Where sometimes things get out of hand.
In old-fashioned billing,
One pound and one shilling
Was known as a guinea. How grand!

GUINEA-BISSAU

To cover a great deal of ground,
Ultra-fast means of transport abound.
But in Guinea-Bissau
An auto rickshaw
Is the quickest way to get around.

GUYANA

There once was a woman called Dana
Who wanted to go to Guyana.
Although she was frantic
To cross the Atlantic
She wound up, somehow, in Botswana

HAITI

A nonagenarian, Katy
Had a bucket list since she was eighty.
She’d covered them all
Till she suffered a fall
Getting out of an aircraft in Haiti.

HONDURAS

Astronomers down in Honduras
Have telescopes trained on Arcturus.
They think that coyotes
All came from Boötes.
Or that’s what they try to assure us.

---

Anyone care to join in?

Limericks from prompts 14

© Can Stock Photo& damedeeso. Used with permission

Limerick, a popular form of short, humorous verse that is often nonsensical and frequently ribald. It consists of five lines, rhyming aabba, and the dominant metre is anapestic, with two metrical feet in the third and fourth lines and three feet in the others. Encyclopaedia Britannica

A series of limericks produced in response to various prompts. 

Where any prompt contains exactly five letters, I may attempt an acrostic limerick based on that word (or a pair in the case of ten-letter prompts).

Let me know what you think.

 

GHOUL

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/10/01/ghoul/)

The day that I started at school,
My Mum told me, “Don’t be a fool.
I heard that your teacher
Spent time as a preacher.”
He did, and he looked like a ghoul.

BLAME

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/10/02/blame-2/)

Amid sycophantic acclaim,
Politicians play their odious game.
Let there be no doubt
What this is about:
It is how to apportion the blame.

SHIVER

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/10/03/shiver/)

I gave an involuntary shiver
As I sat in the cold by the river.
Then out of the stream
I caught a fresh bream
To go with my bacon and liver.

SPIDER

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/10/05/w-o-t-d-10-5-2021-spider/)

At college, my healthcare provider
Once worked as a rodeo rider.
He’ll deny it, of course,
But he fell off his horse
When it panicked on seeing a spider.

GRIPPING

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/10/06/gripping/)

I just found a story that’s gripping
In a ten-years-old newspaper clipping.
It speaks of a whale
With a hole in its tail;
A result of excessive back-flipping.

GRILL

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/10/07/grill/)

A boffin, in search of a thrill,
Invented a nuclear grill.
The meat all turned blue
At his first barbecue
And made those who ate it quite ill.

APPARITION

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/10/08/apparition/)

I stand here in depths of contrition,
Preparing to make an admission.
That thing I’d conceived
And fully believed,
Was naught but a strange apparition.