Tagged: limericks

Time and tide…

P1020155a

I know that you’re trying to portray
This scene at the fag end of day,
But I think that you might
Want what’s left of the light,
So make haste, let’s have no more delay.

The tide’s coming in rather fast,
This photo may well be your last.
Set me back on dry land,
Plant my feet in the sand
Ere the beauteous moment has passed.

The sun is now sinking apace,
It’s so dark you can scarce see my face.
There will only, quite soon,
Be the weak light of moon
To attempt to illumine to the place.

It is forecast that in this locality
The moon will eclipse in totality.
If it’s as I recall,
You won’t see me at all.
Does your phone offer flash functionality?


This was written in response to Kreative Kue 210 published on this site.

The trials of a display falconer

duffy_

An Eagle Owl known here as Duffy
Had ear-tufts at once long and fluffy,
He’d to any trick
For a morsel of chick;
Forget it, and he got quite huffy.

For treats, he’d go where e’er he’s led
As long as he’s properly fed,
But who knew the reason
In his breeding season
He’d mate with the falconer’s head.

As if on a definite cue-in
Some kid would shout, “Hey, what’s he doin’?”
But the handler played dumb
And replied, “Ask your Mum”
As another display falcon flew in.

You think that the falcon was easy?
He’d be gone if the weather was breezy
And the falcon’s religion
Involved hunting pigeon
Which always made some people queasy.

Now, if it should fancy its luck
And choose to hunt down a duck,
Somebody would shout,
“Go stop it, you lout.”
Its trainer’s reply? “Will I heck!”


This was written in response to Kreative Kue 209 published on this site.

Kreative Kue 197

Kreative Kue 196 asked for submissions based on this photograph:
John W Howell is the author of the John Cannon trilogy of My GRL, His Revenge, Our Justice and Circumstances of Childhood, co-author of The Contract, and blogs at Fiction Favorites.

The Procedure by John W. Howell © 2018

“So tell me. Is it going to be okay?”

“How long has this been going on?”

“No more than a couple of hours.”

“Well, that is a blessing. I’m glad you called me right away.”

“We didn’t know what else to do.”

“I think you did the right thing. Most people wait too long and then it is too late.”

“It’s not too late I hope?”

“Just a few more moments and I can give you a better idea of what we are facing.”

“I’m sorry for being so anxious, but we wouldn’t know what we’d do if we didn’t have Betsey.”

“Betsey that’s what you named it?”

“Her.”

“Excuse me?”

“Betsey is a girl.”

“Oh my gosh. I never would have guessed that the way it looks.”

“Her.”

“Yeah, I get it. Her. Hold on. I think I have found the problem.”

“Thank heavens. Can you solve it?”

“Yes, I think so. I have the instrument in my bag. Humm. Let me see. Oh, yes, here it is.”

“What do you have to do?”

“I’ll need you to help.”

“Anything. Just tell me what to do.”

“I’m going to make a slight cut here. After that, I need to use this to go in and remove the blockage. I want you to hold this instrument and when I tell you, place it in my hand. Can you do that?”

“Yes. I’m good.”

“Okay, so here we go. First the cut. Yes, that looks good. Hand me the instrument.”

“Here you go.”

“Ah. I’ve got the blockage. Hand me that cloth.”

“What is that thing?”

“Looks like a chunk of charred wood.”

“Charred wood? How is that possible?”

“You’re right. It’s a petrified piece of brisket. How often do you clean this thing?”

“Every time I use her.”

“Well, you better be more careful. You almost lost it.”

“Her.”

“Whatever. If you want to keep it in top condition, you better do a better job of cleaning. You’ll save my fee too.”

“We have a lot of hamburgers to grill. Is she up to it?”

“Yes. I sealed the cut. She is good to go.”

“You know they don’t make grills like this anymore.”

“Yeah, I know. Here’s my bill.”

“This bill is more than my doctor charges.”

“I know. I used to be a doctor.”


Meanwhile, my effort was:

NaNoWriMoan

I hear what you’re saying, my sweet,
And you know that I’m not one to bleat,
But the barbie needs lighting,
So put down your writing.
We’ve been here for hours – let’s eat

You told us way back in September,
And yes, we all said we’d remember
That thing that you do
Is important to you
And you’re busy for most of November.

So why did you invite your friend
A ‘convivial’ evening to spend?
But I’ll tell you what,
You read out what you’ve got.
And we’ll comment on what you have penned.

Before you attempt us to thrill,
Can you please put a match to the grill?
If I don’t eat soon
I’ll be starting to swoon.
Already I’m feeling quite ill.

What’s that? You’re insisting that first
I bring you some wine for your thirst?
Let me tell you, my love,
That idea you can shove.
And what’s more, you can do it cork first!

Just read us the last page, okay?
And I’ll open some cabernet.
Then put down your book
While I start to cook.
By the way, are you sure LJ is gay?


On to this week’s challenge: Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.