Which way?

“Oh, William. Look how beautiful the sky is.”

“What?”

“I said, look how beautiful the sky is. Do try to keep up.”

“You woke me up to say that?”

“You can’t sleep through all of nature’s beauty, William; it’s unnatural.”

“Waking me up to talk about the state of the sky is what’s unnatural. Sleeping is not only natural, it’s essential to fundamental health and wellbeing. We’re supposed to be on holiday, for pity’s sake.”

“You’ve had enough sleep, William. Get up and come outside with me to wonder at nature’s bounty.”

“The only bounty I’m interested in wondering at is the chocolate-coated one filled with desiccated coconut.”

“Oh, honestly, William Bickerson. Sometimes you are so… what’s the word I’m looking for?”

“Tired? Sleepy? Relaxed? Laid back? On holiday?”

“No, dear. Obscure. That’s the one.”

“Do you mean obscure?”

“Yes. Insensitive and lacking understanding.”

“That’s obtuse.”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?”

“If you say so, dear.”

“Now get up, William, chop chop, and come outside with me so we can marvel at nature’s display.”

“How long have I been asleep?”

“That doesn’t matter, William. Get up. Come on!”

“It matters to me.”

“Why?”

“Because I need to know what to wear. Never mind; let me get my compass.”

“You’re making no sense at all, William. I’m wondering whether bringing you camping was such a good idea after all. How is your compass going to inform your choice of apparel?”

“I need to know which way we are facing; if the sun is rising in the east or setting in the west.”

“I still don’t understand how that will have any bearing on what you choose to wear.”

“If the sun is rising, I’ll need to dress for rain, obviously, but not if it’s setting.”

“Just get up and get dressed, man, for heaven’s sake. What’s all this nonsense about rain? It’s not going to rain.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because the weather forecast…”

“When did you last hear a weather forecast?”

“I listened very carefully to the long-range forecast at the beginning of summer. That’s from our government, William. It’ll be right. The government always gives us reliable information. I’s their job.”

“And what did this reliable forecast say, exactly?”

“I remember very clearly, as I listened most attentively. No significant rainfall this month, the nice man said.”

“Well, I prefer to listen to the farmers. They know their weather patterns and they understand the signs.”

“And what do the farmers say, William?”

“Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight. Red sky in the morning: shepherd’s warning.”

 

This original fiction was written in response to Kreative Kue 388 published on this site earlier this week.