Limerick, a popular form of short, humorous verse that is often nonsensical and frequently ribald. It consists of five lines, rhyming aabba, and the dominant metre is anapestic, with two metrical feet in the third and fourth lines and three feet in the others. Encyclopaedia Britannica
A series of (non-acrostic) limericks produced in response to various prompts.
These will appear on Saturday mornings wherever possible.
Let me know what you think.
Shut up and hand over the loot,
Said the man in the black gangster suit.
He demanded my money
But thought it unfunny
When I told him that he looked quite cute..
I first thought that it was a dimple,
But it seems it’s an inverted pimple.
So – cut off the top,
Or make it go pop?
I’m a bit slow, so please keep it simple!
Technique makes a good player great
Without it he can’t dominate.
Did he kick the ball
Or did he trip and fall?
The answer is there – on a plate.
So I scoured the beach looking for treasure
And went into the dunes for good measure.
The clothes-optional part
Was bad for my heart;
And this hobby is meant to give pleasure!
The choice of words that rhyme with chills
Includes frills, thrills, mills, stills and foothills;
But no matter how clever,
This rhyming will never
Contribute to paying my bills!
I pushed the door closed with my head.
I hit it so hard that it bled.
If I’d used my hand
The way that I planned,
I’d have no use for needle and thread!
Whilst trying to find a new job,
I met Richard – a bit of a nob.
He said, “Are you new?”
I said, “No, interview.
I’m Robert, but please call me Bob.”
In a house in the forest is hidden
A widow who’s all but bedridden.
She needs a toy boy
To bring her some joy,
And to… are you sure it’s forbidden?
I sat down to write a sonata
About signs of the faith and stigmata.
A friendly escort
With puttanesca and frittata.