Tuppence a bag?


“Come look at this spectacle, darling. I thought that we’d only one starling.”

“It seems you were wrong, just look at that throng, you can practically hear them all snarling. I don’t want to come off as rude, but did you put out enough food?”

“I’m sure that I did, it cost me ten quid and I’ll have less of your attitude.”

“I think you and I should have words, the money you spend on these birds.”

“They’ve got to be fed, or soon they’ll be dead – I do think you’re being absurd.”

“I know that bird feeding costs dear, and their singing does bring us some cheer, but can we agree, between you and me, that big money-spending stops here?”

“I know that our money is tight, but can you agree that we might spend five pounds each week—”

“On them?”

“So to speak, to see them through each winter night?”

“Okay, maybe five’s not so much, you could give up your sherry and such—”

“What, no Bristol Cream?”

“That’s right.”

“In your dream! My goodness, that’s my only crutch!”

“Let’s come to a small understanding…”

“As long as you aren’t too demanding!”

“What I would suggest could be for the best is a look at the question of branding.”

“I’ve no idea what you are saying…”

“I mean, look at what you are paying. Own brand will be fine for their food (not mine). That fact is what I am conveying.”

“I see where you come from, you punk; just feed the birds any old junk, while you have the best and I have the rest—”

“You got it – as they say, Kerplunk!”

This was written in response to Kreative Kue 299 published on this site.


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