You think you’re clever, don’t you? You think that having opposable thumbs and a complex language makes you better than me, don’t you?
Well, let me tell you something, Mister. I am not just a dog; not some nondescript, common-or-garden, everyday canine. Oh, no. Not this one. This one is a chihuahua. Were I physically, emotionally and financially capable of it, I’d be prepared to lay good good money that you can’t even spell that.
We chihuahuas have a long, distinguished history. We have been companions to royalty and people with enormous levels of net worth since there have been people like that. Others have been jealous of people just for having us.
We chihuahuas still contain elements from the genome of the earliest domestic dogs to come to North America nearly fifteen thousand years ago (okay, only about four percent, but you get my drift). That is not to be trifled with and neither are we.
We are chihuahuas and chihuahuas rock.
My name is Tinkerbell; and let me tell you one thing before you accuse anyone of plagiarism. I was given this name before the more famous one was as much as a fertilised ovum in its mother’s womb. And I am a male dog!
It takes a powerful male to carry off an obviously female moniker. You want examples? What about Marion Morrison? You know him better, perhaps, as John Wayne. And the wrestler Big Daddy; real name Shirley Crabtree. Would you regard either of them as less than other males? Less than manly? No, you wouldn’t. There is a long and proud history that is shared by males given female names.
So, you can see that I am special. It wouldn’t be too much of an exaggeration for me to call myself unique. Okay, it is an exaggeration in that it isn’t exactly true – but it’s not too much of one. Are we agreed on that? Good. Now let me tell you something else, Mister.
I will not be put into a pocket or bag and be carried around like a toy. I will not be dressed in silly garments or decorated with bows and tassels. I will not be dyed in different colours to match anyone’s outfit. I am not a fashion accessory. I am a living creature with a long and proud, almost regal history.
I am a chihuahua and chihuahuas rule, big time!
And another thing, and I don’t care how much it hurts; it has to be said.
I will not eat that cheap supermarket dog food you’ve just put down for me.
This was written in response to Kreative Kue 293 published on this site.