How do you like them apples?


“What’s in this spray, Cap’n?”

“Don’t worry, Jean-Marie, it’ll do the job.”

“What is the job?”

“There’s a hole in the post. Just spray into it until you’ve emptied the bottle.”

“Then what?”

“Then duck.”

“Duck? Why?”

“See those apple trees behind you?”


“Do you like apples?”

“Like apples? I love ’em.”

“Let’s just say you’re not the only one likes them.”

“I know the householder does – in fact I suppose most people like apples. Big industry around here. These apples sell all over the world.”

“I know. That’s part of the plan.”

“What plan?”

“Sorry, Jean-Marie. I’ve said too much already. Just get on with the job, will you?”

“You didn’t say why I should duck.”

“Oh that. That’ll be because that spray is going to annoy the occupants of that hole and some of them may come out.”

“Who lives in there?”

“It isn’t who, it’s what. Hornets.”


“Yeah, hornets.”

“Lots of them?”

“A whole nest-full, I should think.”

“But that’s about—”

“Between two and four hundred…”

“Hornets? Between two and four hundred hornets‽”

“That’s why you’ve got the protective gear on.”

“And why it’s me up here and not you?”

“Rank has its privileges, Jean-Marie. You’ll make captain one day—”

“If I survive this lot!”

“You are wearing protective clothing, Corporal. Now do your job.”

“Yes Sir. Okay, iFans. Let’s see how you like these apples!”

This was written in response to Kreative Kue 279 published on this site.

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