Traffic

“Tell me again, why are we headed east?”

“It’s not rocket science! This queue on the westbound lane goes on forever. This way is practically clear.”

“And why do you suppose that is, dear heart?”

“Because, love of my life, everybody wants to be in the place we just left. It’s holiday season and the world and his wife are headed to the coast.”

“It wouldn’t have anything to do with the severe weather warning they gave out on the radio this morning, would it?”

“What severe weather warning?”

“The one that alerted risks of property damage, risks of injury and, oh yes, interruptions to travel.”

“Well, duh! Makes my point for me, doesn’t it? Travel can’t be much more difficult than that lot on the other side have it.”

“They said, if you were listening—”

“Which, incidentally, I wasn’t.”

“Then it’s a good job I was. They said that roads would be impassable—”

“Witness to the left, so they’re not wrong there.”

“No, Dumbo. Roads where we are going will be impassable.”

“And you believed them? Look to your left, my sweet. Look and learn.”

“Which part of ‘will be’ is confusing you, oh prince of dumbness? That lot is there now, before the weather hits.”

“Yes, and it will only get worse. No way we want to get mixed up in that lot.”

“We wouldn’t have had to, would we? We could have stayed where we were.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s where they’re sending people to escape the storms!”

“And you believe them…”

“WHAT?!”

“You believe the weather forecasters.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Why?”

“WHY?”

“Yes, why?”

“Why do I believe them? Because they’re the experts. Because they know what they’re talking about. Because they have information we don’t.”

“Like Michael Fish and that hurricane he said wasn’t coming and did?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Listen. I know thins will be hard for you to hear, but I’m going to say it anyway. They don’t know. They’re guessing.”

“No, they aren’t. They have data, models. They’re the experts.”

“And you’ve learned nothing from recent elections and referendums. We don’t want experts. We’ve listened to experts for too long and look at the mess we’re in.”

“So… what? We don’t listen to experts? We take our lead from people who live by hunches. Is that what you’re saying?”

“Experts have been forecasting things since forever and getting it wrong. People – senior politicians – that I don’t want to mention by name, though we all know who I’m talking about, know things that experts don’t know. Why are you laughing?”

“Are you listening to yourself? These people make things up, sell them as facts and, when proven wrong, deny what they’d said before; claim they were taken out of context or misrepresented. Or they say things like ‘the words themselves are not important and are used for illustration or to make a point, you should listen to the intention behind the words’. They are liars.”

“Well, I don’t happen to think so.”

“So that build-up of clouds ahead is what – an optical illusion? Some kind of metaphor?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“I was talking about politicians; honest politicians.”

“Oxymoron.”

“Don’t call me a moron! You’re my wife. You’re supposed to support me.”

“There’s a turnaround. All this time, I’ve been thinking that it was the husband’s job to support his wife.”

“Now it’s you twisting my words.”

“You ought to be a politician, you know. I could see you in public meetings, saying the first thing that comes into your head then denying it when it’s thrown back at you.”

“Okay. If you’re so clever, what do you think I should do now? Turn back?”

“Exactly.”

“Not going to happen.”

“So you’re going to navigate blindly into the eye of the storm?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

“Yup. Politician through and through.”


I wrote this in response to Kreative Kue 179, issued on this site earlier this week. Feel free to join in; just follow the link.

4 comments

  1. Pingback: Kreative Kue 180 | Keith Kreates!
    • Keith Channing

      It was an interesting journey, John. We were on our way home from a couple of weeks’ camping in Spain, on the day (beginning of a holiday weekend) everyone else was going down there. That que was about eight miles long, as I recall; we were cruising at 110kph (70mph)..

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