Ahem!

“You’ll never guess what I’ve found here, Eddie.”

“Enthral me. What have you found, Sybil?”

“No need to be rude.”

“Sorry. I’m just deep into something here.”

“Where?”

“I’m having a bit of trouble with the language, but I think I’ve found a backdoor into the North Korean state security server.”

“I didn’t know you could speak Korean.”

“I can’t.”

“So what makes you think it’s their server.”

“The text looks Korean, and there’s loads of pictures that show the kind of stuff we’ve been seeing on the telly recently.”

“You sure it isn’t Arirang?”

“South Korean TV? No, there’d be different languages and more cultural stuff on there. This looks kind of official.”

“And you just slipped in?”

“Hardly. I had to navigate a load of firewalls and security first.”

“What’s the URL? [coughs]

“That’s the Uniform Resource Locator; a kind of address for the site.”

“I know what it stands for, smarty-pants. You want to teach me how to suck eggs, too?”

“Sorry, Sybil. The address is long and encrypted. It’s just a stream of random letters and numbers.”

“So how did you [coughs] get to it, then?”

“Didn’t you see? I just shut my eyes and hit a load of random keys, then did control-enter to put the www on the front and dot-com on the end.”

“And that got you North Korean secret service?”

“Apparently.”

“Doesn’t sound secure to me.”

“Getting there is only the first part. It’s like standing outside Buckingham Palace: easy to know you’re there, and easy to look at the public face of it, but to actually get inside—”

“You need an invitation? [coughs]

“Either that or a way of getting past all the security.”

“But once you’re through the main gate, you’re there, aren’t you?”

“Would that it were that easy. No, once you’re through the gate, there are still loads of obstacles; loads of security checks to get past. Then, when you’re inside, if you can get through all the barriers, you need to be able to find the room you’re looking for… you okay?”

“Just bit chesty, that’s all.”

“If you must cough without covering your mouth, can you give the screen a wipe afterwards?”

“Sorry.”

“So. What did you find?”

“Yeah. I was looking around at various things, following leads, nosing [coughs] around here and there—”

“Get on with it, I haven’t got all day.”

“What’s with mister impatient all of a sudden?”

“Sorry. My mind is still on this Korea thing. Go on.”

“Well, you’ll never guess [coughs] what I [coughs]—”

“HAND!”

“Sorry. I found out about your secret bank account.”

“What secret bank account?”

“Duh! The bank account you like to keep secret [coughs].”

“How did you find that?”

“I think [coughs] I’m getting quite good at this [coughs]. I even transferred the money you owe me from there to my [coughs] bank account.”

“I thought we were a team.”

“I thought you were [coughs] honest, trustworthy and reliable – to me, at least.”

“I am. I was planning to pay you that later.”

“When? [coughs]

“Soon. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. [coughs] Doctor told me [coughs] I should give up this [coughs] game, though.”

“Why?”

“He reckons it’s responsible for this [coughs] hacking cough! [coughs]

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I wrote this in response to Kreative Kue 178, issued on this site earlier this week. Feel free to join in; just follow the link.

6 comments

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