Ye Gods!

“What’d you do that for?”

“Bit of a test, really.”

“Test? What do you mean, test?”

“Not so much a test; more an experiment.”

“Look, Boss. A few of us are getting worried about you.”

“Worried? Worried? What kind of silly talk is that?”

“Some of the council have had concerns since you turned yourself into a swan just to seduce that mortal woman.”

“Well, even you have to admit she was more than just a little bit phwooaaar.”

“I’ll grant you that. But a swan? What were you thinking?”

“Worked, didn’t it?”

“It did, but you’ve got so many other powers that would have done the trick.”

“Such as?”

“Oh, come on. What can’t you do? Anyway, Boss. The council is worried. There’s even talk of an intervention.”

“I haven’t got a problem, and there’s an end to it.”

“See? Denial.”

“What are you talking about. I’m tempted to banish you for insubordination.”


“Okay. Listen. You don’t need to do an intervention. If I promise not to take on other forms anymore, no matter how much I want a mortal woman… Can we do a deal?”


“What’s the bloody point? You guys have never respected my authority anyway. I might just as well give up this lark and take a job I can cope with.”

“Depression… and one to go.”

“Alright. Have your damned intervention if you must. Sure, I can’t always control my lustful urges—”

“Or your angry ones.”

“That too. But I can try. Maybe I need friend or two I can lean on.”

“And we’re there. Now. Tell me about this experiment.”

“Oh, yeah. I wanted to find out how the dominant intelligent species on the planet would react to a sudden and unexpected intrusion into its environment of something totally alien.”

“But a plasticine dragon?”

“Yeah. Small spelling mistake on the requisition. I meant Pleistocene. You know, Quaternary period, between the Pliocene and Holocene epochs. Anyway, they screwed up and sent one made of FIMO® – bloody baked hard so I can’t even make anything else with it when the experiment’s finished.”

“Should’ve gone to SpecSavers?”


“So you’ve put this… this thing—”


“This dragon into the environment. How did that go?”

“Look for yourself. Neither the dominant species nor its companion animal has even noticed it.”

“They do look pretty cool about the whole thing.”

“Tell me about it. The dominant species, Canis familiaris, is totally nonchalant, and its companion, Lawnmower man, clearly doesn’t give a—”

“I get the picture, Boss. Come with me?”


“There’s a meeting I think you should be at…”

I wrote this in response to Kreative Kue 161, issued on this site earlier this week. Feel free to join in; just follow the link.


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