Photo finish

“You reckon on getting a decent photo with that phone?”

“Never failed me yet.”

“But it’s helluva wide-angle, isn’t it?”

“Well yeah, normally, but I can zoom in.”

“That’s digital zoom, though. You can get a better effect using the software on your PC.”

“Don’t have one.”

“Don’t have a PC?”

“No.”

“How do you sort, organise and process your photos? Not on the phone, surely?”

“Why not?”

“Don’t you find it restricting?”

“Compared to what?”

“Well, compared with doing it on a PC, of course.”

“I don’t have a PC, so I wouldn’t know, would I?”

“Trust me. It would give you so much more creative freedom.”

“You old’uns always say that. Your trouble is, you’ve been brought up with desktop computers; great cumbersome machines that take up loads of space and give you very little for it. Do you know, I’ve got as much computing power in this phone as all but the latest laptops and desktops?”

“That’s not really the point though, is it?”

“If power isn’t the point, what is?”

“Two words: storage—”

“I’ve got unlimited storage in the cloud, so that’s not a thing.”

“And display.”

“What about display?”

“What do you have there – five inches?”

“Roughly. Maybe six.”

“Do you know what I have on my PC?”

“Probably only thirteen or so.”

“On my laptop, yes. Where I do my editing, at home, I have two twenty-four inch ultra high-definition monitors.”

“Size isn’t everything. And I can display these on my TV, which is fifty-two inches. OLED.”

“Impressive, but I find I need as much definition as I can get for editing, not just looking at the pictures.”

“That’s because you’re old.”

“What’s my age got to do with anything?”

“Firstly, you’ve been brought up with that sort of technology and can’t get your head around the new stuff, and secondly, because your eyesight isn’t what it used to be, and you can’t see the detail when you’re looking at a small screen. Anyway, what can that big camera of yours do that I can’t do with my phone?”

“Oh, where should I start? Let me see: selective focus, zoned exposure control, aperture and speed control, depth of field selection, focal length – sixty times optical zoom…”

“Gestures?”

“Only rude ones, and then only when someone annoys me.”

“What else can it do?”

“Duh. It’s a camera. It takes photos. What else do you want it to do?”

“Well, apart from being a phone and a pocket-sized PC, this little thing knows exactly where I am, and annotates each photo with my location as well as the date and time, so it does part of the job of sorting and cataloguing you do on your machine at home. I can also immediately, get that – immediately send my photo out through social media or email. When will yours be posted?”

“When I get around to it. Probably a couple of weeks after I get home.”

“Too late. The moment’s gone.”

“It’s not about the moment, it’s about memories.”

“Yeah. I get it. I guess when I’m old I’ll live on my memories rather than living in the moment. For now though…”

“So what are you snapping there? I’m getting a close, intensified view between the branches of that tree over there, with a monkey silhouetted against the setting sun.”

“Me? Nothing. I’m just looking. Well, that’s not quite true. I don’t take many photos with the crappy camera in this phone. I just like kneeling down beside someone who is taking a photo and winding ‘em up a bit.”

“And?”

“Didn’t work this time. I can usually get older people all defensive and angry, but you’re just too cool.”

“I’ve been told that before.”

“Yeah, so I’ll just see if I can get a signal so I can phone my wife and tell her I’m at the Taj Mahal.”

“I’m surprised you don’t just snap a picture and send it to her.”

“You’re joking, right?”

“I guess.”

“Listen. If I give you my WhatsApp, could you send me some of your pictures?”


I wrote this in response to Kreative Kue 158, issued on this site earlier this week. Feel free to join in; just follow the link.

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