Acrostic Limericks 35

canstockphoto12290151300.jpg
© Can Stock Photo & damedeeso used with permission

Many examples of acrostic poems can be found scattered around the web (where the first letter of each line spells out a word when read from top to bottom), but I have found very few examples of acrostic Limericks.

I now look out for prompts that contain five letters (or ten, fifteen or… let’s not get ahead of ourselves, eh?). I may add the odd one of my own, too.

Let me know what you think.

CLAIM

For Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/02/20/claim/)

Chanting my favourite team’s name,
Loosens my cords for the game.
As for the song
I got the words wrong;
My wife blames me – ain’t that a shame?

MONTH

For Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/02/22/month/)

May cannot arrive here too soon;
Outside meeting with friends, what a boon!
No need for mopin’,
The pubs’ll be open;
Here’s hoping we’ll all be immune!

Anyone care to join in?

You missed a bit

19-02-2007 14-45-33_0025a

“♫ One man and his dog, Spot, went to mow a meadow. ♫”

“What are you singing?”

“♫ One man and his dog, Spot, went to mow a meadow. ♫”

“Why?”

“Seems appropriate.”

“How so?”

“I’m mowing, ennit?”

“Allegedly. Thing is, Dear Heart, you aren’t a man, neither of our dogs is called Spot and, oh yes, neither of our dogs is with you – and what it amuses us to call our back garden is hardly a meadow.”

“Poetic license.”

“The license that would help you most is a driving one, not a poetic one.”

“I have a driving license and you know it!”

“I was speaking ironically. When do you think you’ll be finished?”

“Probably when I’ve done it all.”

“What am I supposed to do in the meantime?”

“Haven’t you got any work to do?”

“Finished it.”

“Okay. You like to be ironic – there’s loads needs doing.”

“Loads? What of?”

“Ironing.  And when you’ve done that… the red chair by the window…”

“What about it?”

“It needs re-stuffing.”

“I thought that was your project.”

“And I thought keeping the grass down was yours.”

“It was, until you hijacked it so you could play on my ride-on.”

Your ride-on? Since when was it yours?”

“Since I bought it. For me.”

“This is getting us nowhere.”

“Don’t blame me, I’m not the one writing it.”

“Shall we stop for lunch, then?”

“Good idea. Before we do, though…”

“What?”

“Over there by the electricity pole…”

“What about it?”

“You missed a bit.”

This was written in response to Kreative Kue 300 published on this site.

Kreative Kue 300

Kreative Kue 299 asked for submissions based on this photograph:

P1040639bJohn W Howell is a multiple nominated and award-winning author who blogs at Fiction Favorites. Details of John’s books can be found on his Amazon author page

Buffet by John W. Howell © 2021

“Hold on, everyone.”

“I can’t see my feet.”

“Looks like they are running out of shrimp.”

“Did you honestly just sneeze?”

“Where’s the help around here.”

“All you can eat for a buck?”

“Harold, you said this was an exclusive place.”

“Has anyone seen my wing?”

“Chicken wing.”

“Nah, stupid. My wing.”

“Hey, you there. That’s my serving.”

“Get your foot outa of mine then.”

“Where’s the manager?”

“Right here under y’all.”

“I’m never coming back.”

“Don’t let the door smack ya where the good Lord cracked ya.”

“Waiter. Wheres my wine?”

“You are kidding, right?”

“Yeah, make it a birdbath.”

“Anybody want to swarm after the meal?”

“Excuse me, madam. Take your wings off me. I’m not your husband.”

“You sure look like him.”

“I’ve been told that a lot.”

“Who wants dessert?”

“Is it included?”

“Yes.”

“What is it?”

“Suet paired with sunflower seeds.”

“Oh, yes, please.”


My effort was:

Tuppence a bag?

“Come look at this spectacle, darling. I thought that we’d only one starling.”

“It seems you were wrong, just look at that throng, you can practically hear them all snarling. I don’t want to come off as rude, but did you put out enough food?”

“I’m sure that I did, it cost me ten quid and I’ll have less of your attitude.”

“I think you and I should have words, the money you spend on these birds.”

“They’ve got to be fed, or soon they’ll be dead – I do think you’re being absurd.”

“I know that bird feeding costs dear, and their singing does bring us some cheer, but can we agree, between you and me, that big money-spending stops here?”

“I know that our money is tight, but can you agree that we might spend five pounds each week—”

“On them?”

“So to speak, to see them through each winter night?”

“Okay, maybe five’s not so much, you could give up your sherry and such—”

“What, no Bristol Cream?”

“That’s right.”

“In your dream! My goodness, that’s my only crutch!”

“Let’s come to a small understanding…”

“As long as you aren’t too demanding!”

“What I would suggest could be for the best is a look at the question of branding.”

“I’ve no idea what you are saying…”

“I mean, look at what you are paying. Own brand will be fine for their food (not mine). That fact is what I am conveying.”

“I see where you come from, you punk; just feed the birds any old junk, while you have the best and I have the rest—”

“You got it – as they say, Kerplunk!”


19-02-2007 14-45-33_0025a

On to this week’s challenge: Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.