Limericks from prompts 4

© Can Stock Photo& damedeeso. Used with permission

Limerick, a popular form of short, humorous verse that is often nonsensical and frequently ribald. It consists of five lines, rhyming aabba, and the dominant metre is anapestic, with two metrical feet in the third and fourth lines and three feet in the others. Encyclopaedia Britannica

Starting this week, a series of limericks produced in response to various prompts. I have combined the two strands to make room for a new series starting next Wednesday. 

These will appear on Saturday mornings wherever possible.

Many examples of acrostic poems can be found scattered around the web (where the first letter of each line spells out a word when read from top to bottom), but I have found very few examples of acrostic Limericks.

Where any prompt contains five letters (or ten, fifteen or… let’s not get ahead of ourselves, eh?), I shall attempt an acrostic limerick based on that word.

Let me know what you think.

 

IMPRESSIVE

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/07/24/impressive/)

I think of myself as progressive
Might even be seen as obsessive.
Please take the hook,
Read my next book.
Excuse me if it’s not impressive.

So maybe it won’t be professional;
So what it could be is transgressional.
I do try to be
Vicariously,
Extravagently intersessional.

IVY

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/07/25/ivy/)

There’s a poem my mother once told me,
And if I didn’t get it she’d scold me;
All jumbled and jivey
And lambs eating ivy.
I just wanted someone to hold me.

REMINDER

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/07/26/reminder/)

Not that you need a reminder
Young Peaty is in the viewfinder;
As for the diving,
Team GB is thriving
Since Tom and Matty played a blinder.

NOURISH

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/07/27/nourish-2/)

When Albert came back from New Delhi,
He said he had learnt on the telly,
In order to flourish
Your brain you must nourish.
I’d rather have food in my belly!

HERBAL

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/07/28/herbal/)

She came to me like an illusion,
My mind was awash with confusion.
My hormones went wild
But I simply smiled
As she brought me a herbal infusion.

AKIN

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/07/29/akin/)

A handsome young fellow called Flynn
Was dating a younger girl, Gwyn
He asked her in bed
If she loved him. She said,
“Not exactly, but something akin.”

CURVACEOUS

for Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/07/30/curvaceous/)

Come with me and visit the zoo
Unless you’ve owt better to do;
Red Pandas and dogs,
Venomous frogs,
And even meerkats are on view

Chimpanzees are sometimes mendacious
Elephants can be flirtatious
Ostriches run
Under the sun
Snakes can be downright curvaceous.

International Limericks 3

© Can Stock Photo & damedeeso used with permission

 

Limerick, a popular form of short, humorous verse that is often nonsensical and frequently ribald. It consists of five lines, rhyming aabba, and the dominant metre is anapestic, with two metrical feet in the third and fourth lines and three feet in the others. Encyclopaedia Britannica

There are currently one hundred and ninety-three states that are recognised members of the United Nations, using the official list available on-line on 5th July, 2021.

As an exercise in internationalism and, perhaps, mental masochism I shall attempt to produce, in strict alphabetic sequence, a limerick based on the name of each member-state (using the short name as commonly used in UK English). Each Wednesday will see between one and seven such limericks, until I have addressed them all. The addition or removal of countries or changes of name during the course of this exercise will not be reflected.

Where the name of a member-state contains five letters (or ten, fifteen or… let’s not get ahead of ourselves, eh?), I shall attempt an acrostic limerick based on that name.

Let me know what you think.

 

AUSTRIA

In Austria, raise your antenna
And make your way straight to Vienna,
A walk by the river
Might help you deliver.
If that doesn’t work, try some senna!

AZERBAIJAN

My ex-girlfriend sadly has gone,
Now I have no one to lean on.
My friends said, “At least
She’s gone to the east.”
I wept and said, “Azerbaijan?”

BAHAMAS

A young man from Nassau, Bahamas
Spent most of his time in pyjamas.
One day the committee
Barred him from the city.
He didn’t expect melodramas!

BAHRAIN

A merchant of rugs in Bahrain
Imported some carpets from Spain.
But he wasn’t told
That they would grow mould
If left out in the annual rain.

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Anyone care to join in?

Making up

“The old boy’s asleep alright. I just tried giving him a nudge. Nothing.”

“Great! What’s the plan, Stan?”

“We’ll carry on as normal, so if he wakes up he won’t suspect anything. I’ve got a special job for you, Nobby. And stop calling me Stan. My name is Beki and you know it.”

“Yeah. Beki,” the young primate shouted.

“Who’s Beki?” the troop asked.

“Stan!” Nobby replied.

“Who’s Beki? Stan!” the troop chorused.

“So to us, you’re Stan. Stan the man with a plan,” Nobby added, his face approximating a grin. Or was it a grimace? Or a leer? .Or possibly even a threat posture. Never mind. It worked. “So what’s the job you’ve got for me — Stan?”

Beki assumed an air of unconcern that fooled nobody. “I want you to go to the keepers’ store and pick up the things on this list.” He handed a short list to Nobby.

“I can’t read,” Nobby said, “how am I supposed to know what to get?”

“Give it back; I’ll read it to you. Will you be able to remember a list of things?”

“I’ll try.”

“Okay. I’ll read them out one by one and you repeat them back to me. One artist’s palette…”

“What’s that?”

“Never mind what it is; can you remember to ask for it?”

“Yes.”

“Call it back.”

“One artist’s palette.”

“Good. Three paintbrushes: One inch, half inch and pencil-tip.”

“Three paintbrushes: One inch, half inch and pencil-tip.”

“Excellent.” This to-and-fro continued until the list was complete and memorised. Finally, Nobby repeated the entire list in one go before scooting off to the keepers’ store.

“Do you think he’ll remember it all?” asked Broken-Tail, a mid-life female named after … well, I can imagine you’ll guess how she acquired that sobriquet.

“I can only hope,” Beki replied, “We’ve done what we can; it’s in Nobby’s hands now.”

“That’s what’s worrying me,”  Broken-Tail said.

“Have confidence – he’s your son.”

“That’s what’s worrying me,”  Broken-Tail repeated, causing something of a titter from the rest of the troop – every one of whom was fully aware how scatter-brained Nobby could be when he put his mind to it – or, rather, when he failed to do exactly that.

Time passed. The troop went about the serious business of picking parasites off each other’s pelts. The old boy stayed asleep.

Finally, Nobby returned with the things he had been charged with obtaining. Beki checked what had arrived.

“Excellent,” he said, “you did good, Nobby. You will no longer be called the nincompoop of the troop.”

“So I’m no longer stupid and useless?” Nobby asked, excitedly.

“Oh, you’re still that, and some,” Beki replied, “We’ll just stop reminding you every ten minutes.”

“I’ll take that.”

“Let’s get started, then. Three of you take a brush each. Without disturbing the old boy, whoever has the thickest brush, take the red paint and do his nose, around his mouth and eyes. Pale blue with the medium brush and dark blue the thin one; and I want parallel stripes from his eyes to his nose. When that’s done, Nobby will stand the mirror in front of him whilst we wake him up. Let’s see how he reacts when he thinks he’s turned into a Mandrill in his sleep!”

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This was written in response to Kreative Kue 322 published on this site.