Random Limericks 10

© Can Stock Photo& damedeeso. Used with permission

A new series of (non-acrostic) limericks produced in response to various prompts.

These will appear on Saturday mornings wherever possible.

Let me know what you think.

BANSHEE

for Kristian – https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2020/10/16/banshee/

Our beautiful child, Abigail
Has a cry like an old Banshee’s wail.
“Give her something to suck!”
Sure, but knowing my luck
I can try, but I know it will fail.

RECOVERY

for Kristian – https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2020/10/18/recovery/

I went to the bank to recover
The cash that was sent by my bruvver
The boy’s such a twit
There was only a chit
Saying, “Soz, spent it all on my lover.”

BEER

for Esther – https://esthernewtonblog.wordpress.com/2020/10/19/laughing-along-with-a-limerick-29/

Some may think this unusual or queer
But I really do not enjoy beer
Neither porter nor ale
Be it black, brown or pale.
I can always drive home, have no fear.

GARGOYLE

for Kristian – https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2020/10/20/gargoyle/

A gargoyle’s an outlet for rain
That scares folk again and again.
But if you’re religious,
Let’s not get litigious;
In Spain, the rain goes down the drain!

ELECT

For Kristian https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2020/10/21/elect/

(should have been acrostic but my first attempt failed!)

Economies worldwide are wrecked
Some leaders act more like a sect
There’s so much to lose
So carefully choose
Whom to toss out and whom to elect

Acrostic Limericks 17

© Can Stock Photo & damedeeso used with permission

Many examples of acrostic poems can be found scattered around the web (where the first letter of each line spells out a word when read from top to bottom), but I have found very few examples of acrostic Limericks.

I now look out for prompts that contain five letters (or ten, fifteen or… let’s not get ahead of ourselves, eh?). I may add the odd one of my own, too.

Let me know what you think.

HOBBY

For Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2020/10/14/hobby/)

Hobbies – a way to pass time
Or engage in a passion sublime
Before you commit
Be sure it’s legit
You may be mixed up in a crime

SAILS

For Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2020/10/17/sails/)

Sales are when shopping is hot
All items are cheaper – a lot!
It seems I’ve derailed,
Linguistically failed,
Sails are found most on a yacht!

URGES

For Kristian (https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2020/10/19/urges/)

Unhappy, I sit on the verge
Repeating the mantra-like dirge:
Good times I’ll see
Eventually
So, till then, my urge I’ll submerge.

Anyone care to join in?

Abandoned

“What do you think, Trev? D’ya reckon they’ll ever come back?”

“Dunno. They always have done so far.”

“Perhaps. But you know what they say, don’t you?”

“What?”

“Past performance is no guarantee of future results.”

“Who says that?”

“Everybody.”

“Is that literally everybody or figuratively everybody?”

“Either. Both.”

“How does that work?”

“According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word literally can be used for emphasis while not being literally true.”

“Isn’t that some sort of circular argument?”

“What?”

“Well. When they say ‘while not being literally true’, are they using the word literally literally or for emphasis?”

“Stop it, you’re making my head hurt.”

“That’s not hard, is it, Eos?”

“You may very well think that, Trevor. I couldn’t possibly comment. Meanwhile, are you going to answer my original question?”

“What was it?”

“You forgotten already?”

“It was literally hours ago.”

“It was literally two minutes ago.”

“Emphasis.”

“So. D’ya reckon they’ll ever come back?”

“Can’t say.”

“Why not?”

“Insufficient data.”

“What more do you need? You’ve known them a lot longer than I have.”

“Did they go in the car?”

“I didn’t hear it.”

“You won’t if they used the electric one. You’re taller than I am. Look out of the window to see if it’s still there.”

“I can’t see through that one – it’s too high for me, too.”

“That’s it. They’ve been gone forever.”

“Define forever.”

“Dunno. More than ten minutes?”

“They’re not coming back, are they?”

“Probably not. Time for a howl?”

“What choice do we have? Time for a howl.”

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This was written in response to Kreative Kue 285 published on this site.