Random Limericks 42

canstockphoto12290151300.jpg
© Can Stock Photo& damedeeso. Used with permission

Limerick, a popular form of short, humorous verse that is often nonsensical and frequently ribald. It consists of five lines, rhyming aabba, and the dominant metre is anapestic, with two metrical feet in the third and fourth lines and three feet in the others. Encyclopaedia Britannica

A series of (non-acrostic) limericks produced in response to various prompts.

These will appear on Saturday mornings wherever possible.

Let me know what you think.

 

ATMOSPHERIC

for Kristian – https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/06/05/atmospheric/

There once was a writer called Derrick
Whose output was most atmospheric.
A few lines of prose
Can curl up your toes
Like Milton with hints of Homeric.

ADVENTURE

for Kristian – https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/06/06/adventure/

I felt my life needed adventure
And so I cashed in my debenture.
I bought an old hearse
That had no reverse,
And wound up with cracks in my denture.

CASTOFF

for Kristian – https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/06/09/castoff/

As we were preparing to blast off,
My Mother was starting to cast off.
Instead of just sitting,
She did some more knitting;
No way would my Mum be the last off.

My old cast-off trousers need mending,
Their three-decade life shortly ending.
But all will be fine,
I’ll buy some on-line.
It’s only my money I’m spending!

ACHIEVING

for Kristian – https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/06/10/achieving/

You may have some trouble believing
The extent of my under-achieving.
I try to be bold
But then, truth be told,
It’s only myself I’m deceiving.

Acrostic Limericks 50

canstockphoto12290151300.jpg
© Can Stock Photo & damedeeso used with permission

 

Limerick, a popular form of short, humorous verse that is often nonsensical and frequently ribald. It consists of five lines, rhyming aabba, and the dominant metre is anapestic, with two metrical feet in the third and fourth lines and three feet in the others. Encyclopaedia Britannica

Many examples of acrostic poems can be found scattered around the web (where the first letter of each line spells out a word when read from top to bottom), but I have found very few examples of acrostic Limericks.

I now look out for prompts that contain five letters (or ten, fifteen or… let’s not get ahead of ourselves, eh?). I may add the odd one of my own, too.

Let me know what you think.

 

SMITE

for Kristian – https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/06/02/smite/

So the vengeful god said he would smite me,
Make me suffer the ailments that blight me.
I said you can try;
Take a look in my eye.
Examine my ardour then BITE ME!

CLICK

for Kristian – https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2021/06/07/click/

Come, let me show you my wares;
Look here first, then we’ll go upstairs.
If you can’t face
Choosing at pace,
Keep looking; we’ve plenty of chairs.


Anyone care to join in?

It doesn’t add up!

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“What are you after, Birdie?”

“I’m having an existential crisis, and it’s scaring me.”

“Existential crisis? You? You’re a bird. Birds don’t have the intellectual wherewithal to have  existential crises.”

“I know. That’s what’s scaring me.”

 “Okay, I’ll go with it for now. Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’d love to. Will you take the role of my counsellor?”

“If that’s what you want; why not?”

“Okay. Where shall I start?”

“I’ll tell you what. Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”

“Can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Been done. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. That’d be plagiarism.”

“Fair enough. What’s the first thing you remember?”

“Okay, I can try that. Bear in mind, though, that early memories may not be mine.”

“What do you mean? Whose will they be?”

“Let’s turn that around. What’s your first memory?”

“That’s easy. I was dressed as a pageboy in a street party for the Queen’s coronation in 1953.”

“How old were you?”

“It was a few days before my fourth birthday.”

“And you have a clear memory of it?”

“Of course.”

“Are you sure? You haven’t remembered being told about it, or seen a photograph later?”

“I see what you mean… I have an old black and white photo… And, now I come to think of it, I couldn’t tell you what colour my robe was.”

“Now you’ve accepted that, I’ll give you my first memory; but bear in mind it may not be mine.”

“I’m all ears.”

“No you’re not!”

“I mean, I’m ready and eager to hear what you have to say.”

“Good. I remember a falling sensation; then I was inside the maw of a vicious creature. I must have passed out. When I came to, I was inside a box. It was dark and warm.”

“That’ll be when I rescued you from my dog.”

“I lived in that box for a while. I was fed often enough and quite happy with life. Then I was taken out and put in this enormous room—”

“So you could develop and fly.”

“That was you, too?”

“Surely was.”

“Well. Thanks, I suppose. But what am I supposed to do now? What’s the purpose of my existence? That’s what’s bugging me. That’s what I need to work out.”

“When you’ve grown bigger and stronger; when you can fly well, and when you can eat natural food instead of the prepared stuff I’m giving you, then you’ll be able to go out into the wild.”

“The wild? What the heck is that?”

“It’s open air; it’s nature; it’s where you belong.”

“But I don’t know anyone there.”

“You will. You’ll find within a couple of days that it will all seem perfectly normal and natural – which is what it is. You’ll make friends, you’ll even find a lady blackbird that you’ll want to spend your life with “

“I don’t need to find a bird to spend my life with. I want to spend my life with you.”

“No, you don’t. You can’t. We’re not the same. You need to pass on your genes. To do that, you need a female of your kind so you can mate and breed.”

“That sounds awful!”

“You’re young, Birdie. I thought the concept was pretty grim until I hit my mid-teens; then, suddenly, it seemed like a fine idea.”

“You’re just trying to get rid of me, aren’t you?”

“When the time comes; yes, I am. But it’s for your own good. I shall be sad to see you go, but happy that you’ll be where you are meant to be.”

“That makes no sense whatever. How can you be both happy and sad? It doesn’t add up!”

“If you are smart enough to have an existential crisis, my friend, you must be smart enough to work that out for yourself.”

“This calculator won’t help. Can I use your computer?”

This was written in response to Kreative Kue 315 published on this site.